How to Know When to Break Up With Your Partner
The longer you wait, the harder it gets. If you can’t reconcile your differences, it could be time to end your relationship.
You have major personality differences
A study in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science found that having issues with a partner’s personality was the number-one reason couples break up. No one is perfect, and even the strongest romances will have their pet peeves. But if everything your partner does and says rubs you the wrong way, the few things you like won’t be worth it. If it’s just the little things that tick you off, though, don’t throw your relationship away.
You’ve fallen out of love
Partner withdrawal is another one of the top reasons partners leave, according to the Social Psychology and Personality Science study. If your feelings have faded, or you can feel your partner pulling away, don’t just hold on tighter. Let the relationship go so you both can have the opportunity for real love.
Your sεχ life has gone cold
One sure sign that intimacy is gone? A sεχ life that has totally dwindled out. Unless you have one of these medical reasons for a low sεχ drive, there’s probably a more emotional reason you haven’t been getting frisky. “sεχ is the glue that binds, it is the way us adults play and enjoy each other,” writes relationship coach Cathy Meyer for DivorcedMoms.com. “It is either time to spice things up in the bedroom or take a serious look at why one or the other has lost interest in the sεχual aspect of the relationship.”
You have religious differences
“It doesn’t matter, until it matters,” notes eHarmony. Even some relatively secular people realize how important religion can become to them when marriage and children enter the picture. Some couples might be able to live happily practicing different religions (or no religion at all) but for others it could turn into a major conflict.
One of you doesn’t want to get married
Whether this is your first or fifth marriage, if your partner is not on the same page, the relationship should not be continued. No matter how in love you are, trying to convince someone to marry (or not to marry) is not the way to a happy relationship.
There’s someone else in the picture
If you’re noticing signs you’ve got a cheating spouse or you’ve met someone else, you don’t necessarily need to break up. But if you find yourself putting a crush over your partner, you probably can’t make up without cutting ties. Three’s a crowd, as they say, and it’s time to move on.
You keep secrets
If you claim to love your partner, think deeply about why you won’t let him or her into vulnerable parts of your life. With the exception of these secrets it’s OK to keep from a spouse, hiding information shows lack of trust. Communication is key, and hiding things from your partner will only create tension.
You get jealous—like, really jealous
Subtly or not, if you are threatened by your partner’s friends, family, and co-workers it will become apparent. Either trust in him or move on. If your partner is displaying jealous behavior, don’t ignore it—unwarranted jealousy is one sign of a toxic relationship.
You have spending issues
Financial difficulties can fall into the secrecy area of a relationship. Being honest about your money situation can help the relationship grow free of any waiting landmines. Never lie about money. If you do have a spending-related tiff, you won’t need to break up.