I’m not a genie with a crystal ball, but when I look back at my marriage, there were signs of divorce and red flags that it was starting to slowly die that I missed while I was in the thick of it. Truly, no one can predict each and every divorce, although some situations are more obvious than others.
but there are a few early signs of a failing marriage. If you notice any of these in your relationship, you may be headed toward a split.
1. You go to bed at separate times.
OK, so if you and your partner always do this, then it isn’t a big deal. Some people are just on different sleep schedules. But if you and your partner always retired together at night and suddenly are not (and it’s not because the partner’s work schedule changed), there could be trouble on the horizon.
2. You avoid sεχ.
If you’re hearing, “I’m tired honey,” or you’re the one saying those three evil words in an attempt to reject sεχ, there could be trouble a-brewing.
3. You found a new hobby that takes up all your time.
If your partner takes on a hobby that is new and becomes all-consuming to which you rarely spend time with him or her, this could be a bad detour in the relationship.
4. You start to ask permission to do every little thing.
This is one hidden sign of divorce: you didn’t feel you had to but now feel you must ask your spouse’s permission to do things, whether they are big or small.
5. You are on social media much more often.
If those social media habits start to take over, be very wary of what’s going on in your partner’s social media world. He or she may not be cheating, but may be seeking social interaction outside of you to an extreme. Or feeling lonely.
6. You take too many selfies.
When women are heading toward a breakup, are in the divorce process, or are feeling neglected by their partners, the selfie count goes up. A selfie you share with others is sharing a part of you and is a way to connect with other people by sharing your face, although not in an intimate way like how a relationship would function.
A selfie can make you feel empowered and attractive. Too many selfies may suggest that you are not feeling so attractive and validated in your relationship; therefore, you would like others to appreciate you. Looking towards the outside for approval rather than looking inward is a big sign of divorce.
7. You’re taking a spiritual journey — alone.
If one partner starts to delve deep into a religion or spiritual path that the other partner is not “in on,” this is a clear sign of two people taking very huge and most likely, permanent paths.
8. You’re having trouble at work.
If one spouse is having difficulty at work, there may be more going on in his or her head that doesn’t include work, but instead, marital dissatisfaction.
9. You are overworking.
If your spouse is MIA and constantly working, he or she may indeed be working. Either way, it’s a sign of martial trouble. Either the spouse is diving into work to avoid home life or are not working as much as he or she is claiming to.
10. You suddenly change your appearance.
Is your spouse doing a makeover or in a rush to lose weight, yet he or she doesn’t want to exercise with you, or doesn’t want to dress up or show off his or her new look for you? That new look may be for your partner… or someone else.
11. You start conversations about new topics.
Are your spouse’s conversation suddenly different? Is he or she chatting about new topics unfamiliar to you? There may be people in your partner’s life you don’t even know about.
12. You have family drama.
If either your family or your spouse’s family detests the other partner, this is a huge red flag. It may seem like it won’t affect your marriage in the beginning, but let me tell you: love does not conquer family drama.
13. You’re physically present but emotionally absent.
If you or your husband/wife are present with each other, but are absent — as in, not listening to each other speak, sitting next to each other but overly engaged in tech or phone, not being affectionate but are in the same room together, it’s one of the big fat signs of a failing marriage.
14. You have a new friend you confide in.
Your spouse has a new friend he or she confides in often, eh? Warning. Warning. Warning.
15. You don’t spend quality time together.
Did the two of you used to spend quality time together and now everything is a separate event? Divorce is in the cards unless you two start to have fun together, again — and not just fun apart from each other.
16. You have a fear of being vulnerable.
If one of you is afraid to share either things that happen or your feelings, it’s a big sign there is trouble in paradise. Happy couples may not like sharing certain things with their spouses, but they still do — and those worried feelings are not so pressing or huge!